February 2011
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Hearts *por tutti*!
I wish I could have gone online from my office and see all the fabulous Snark NYC photos that were posted today. Then I would be able to heart them all and lean back in my chair and wistfully recall the fabulous night I had. But instead I am blocked from such things at work and so I just have to issue one giant heart here. I love the pics. Thanks for posting.
January 2011
I just finished my annual sexual harassment training course and boy are my arms tired.
Wait. What?
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No, Katy. I have never felt like a plastic bag.
Now kindly remove your song from my brain. BE GONE I SAID.
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I just sneezed so hard, God decided to bless me personally.
Related, I think I’m dying from this cold.
Guess what I did today?
Sneezed through an ENTIRE box if tissues.
I am rockin’ this cold HARD
This Sunday is brought to you by my dear friends...
and when I say “dear friends” I mean get the hell out of my head!
The Mister and I were asleep on the train
because we are Awesome! but also because we’re tired.
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The Girl just weighed in on my outfit for tonight
And I changed it. So if any of you have a problem with it, you’ll have to take it up with her.
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I'm going to take a disco nap.
Because I’m old.
When I apply for this year's Mother Of The Year...
I will cite my liberal and frequent use of the phrases “I hate you” and “I brought you into this world and I can take you out” on my application.
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On My Hatred Of A Condiment
On our honeymoon in France, my new husband asked the waiter for ketchup. No court would deny me an annulment on those grounds. The waiter gave him a condescending sniff and mumbled under his breath “Americans”.
Anyway, 16 years later I’m still watching him put ketchup on everything I cook or in restaurant. He won’t put ketchup on eggs. Thankfully. Because that is...
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Attention all Uggs wearing people.
Pick up your feet when you walk. They’re not slippers.
I’ve just turned into my Grandma.
Fr(eye)day
I need a new prescription because I’ve become more farsighted. I’ve been having trouble with reading and middle distances. So, essentially, my eyes have gotten older. Way to go, mortality.
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Tomorrow night...
There will be big hugs. I am a hugger, and a kisser on both cheeks Euro-trash style. There will be squeeing and hands flying in excitement. There will be introductions to my fabulous escort, The Mister. There will be smart cocktails and toasts to friends not present. There will be live tweeting and photos. There will be shenanigans & hijinks. I better wear my”good” lipstick.
I have been on this train for 107 minutes
It normally takes an hour. Please standby for the inevitable body count
Looking back
I think my biggest fear is back fat.
LESS THAN 48 HOURS UNTIL SNARK NYC
LESS THAN 48 HOURS I SAID.
Dear Driver Of The Big Ass Nissan Titan
We get it that your truck is big. Was it really necessary to take 4 parking spots? Especially on a day when the lot at the eye doctor is only partially plowed?
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A scientific explanation of the snowstorm.
Before the kids went to bed they:
threw ice cubes out the front and back doors
put wooden spoons under their pillows
wore their pajamas inside out
ran up & down the stairs 10 times
5 Utterly Important Things
• I am knitting with Aaron Copeland’s *Rodeo* playing on my ipod and its more fun than you would expect.
• I parked on the top garage level and now I have to clear the car. This would not be a problem except I am wearing new boots.
• I am more concerned about fashion than practicality as evidenced by the fact that I wore my new boots when I knew it was going to snow today.
• I have...
2 tags
Posture
There is something different about the way she stands. Before there was the sway of the back thrusting her tummy forward. There was a solid look to her, even though she is slender. She stood firm in her spot, stubborn, resolved. She stood like a child.
Now her hips are forward. Her arms are more graceful. Her shoulders are back. Her head is held higher on her ridiculously long neck. She no...
This high
I’m 5’3½” but I tell everyone I’m 5’4”. I figure the ½” is a gimme given my poufy hair and/or feisty nature.
davio1962 asked: So right you are.
How I spent my early (Truthful) Tuesday morning
• go to bed at a reasonable hour • wake up 2 hours later • listen to the Mister’s breathing • become annoyed by the Mister’s breathing • play a few rounds of WwFs with the West Coast an Europe • fall asleep for an hour and a half • wake up again • brood • obsess • worry • check twitter • check tumblr • WwF • fidget with covers • listen to the Mister snore • poke the Mister to make him...
GWAR Mitzvah?
inthefade:
I wish I was a 13 year old Jewish girl because this is like the best idea ever.
BRB, booking bands for my kids in 3 years.
If it weren’t for Law & Order reruns on multiple channels I might get some sleep at night.
3:08 am
Why am I up if I’m so tired?
Now I’m pissed and tired. Ugh.
Train rant
Thanks to Twitter I found out that the LIRR service had been restored. Just because I’m supposed to get email notification doesn’t mean that I *actually* get it. Also, no access to twitter at work so I had to use my phone for the *real* news. BTW, thank you #LIRR for the perfect end to the perfect Monday. Now where’s my complimentary cocktail?
“Did you bring the pineapple pie?”
– The last line of my dream when the alarm went off. Someone was asking me the question. Alas, I have no pineapple pie. What I do have is 5 DAYS UNTIL SNARK NYC
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I've made an executive decision
Now that the kids are ten I am no longer responsible for reminding them to make their beds or pick up their rooms.
Look for me on Hoarders in six months.
I think it's a bad omen
We got a new TV for the living room yesterday (the old one had seen better days). The Boy walked into the house and hugged the box when he saw it. Anyway, we set it up and went to dinner. When we came home we all wanted to watch a movie. We ended up agreeing on Will Ferrell in Land Of The Lost.
This poor TV will forever be at the back of the class wearing a dunce cap.
