April 2011
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Take Your Kids To Work Day
Or as I like to call it:
• Annoy Your Coworkers Day
• Say Goodbye To Your Raise Day
• Not Doing Anything Productive Day
• Worlds Colliding Day
• I Am So Fired Day
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Mom, why do you have to be so gross?
– The Boy, when he saw I was watching yet another show about royal weddings.
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Speculation: Wedding Dress Version
OK, Julie. I’ll play this game. According to my sources, Kate was an art history major (?) when she met her Prince William. I think she will have a lot of influence on her wedding gown design. I’m hoping she digs deep into her crestivity and wears a gown that is Renaissance inspired. I’d love to see some rich brocade and heavy Damask silk. She can carry it off.
Fuckin' Nature!
[scene: 4:38 AM, master bedroom]
whispers, as if broadcasting a golf match
Me: What is that? It sounds like there are birds IN the house.
Me: I’m just going to lie here and they’ll go away.
Me: They’re not going away.
Me: Are they fighting? I think they’re fighting. They’re so freaking loud.
Me: Great. Now I have a bird gang war on my garage roof.
Me: I...
aldricnewberry asked: You're driving home. You notice in your rear view mirror a Red Toyota Camry suddenly coming up quick behind your vehicle. At the last second it swerves to the opposite open lane, speeds past you, and then promptly returns to your lane, almost clipping the front of your car. You notice during the pass that the driver is an elderly woman. She proceeds away, and as you arrive home, you see the...
Don't try to convince me that there's no such...
Because I’m about to crash after pizza and cookies.
One hour until sundown!
Moses led the Israelites through the desert for 40 years because they were waiting for a decent pizzaria to be built.
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Don't judge me
I am listening to Podcasts about the royal family all week on the train. I have watched shows on TLC. My DVR is set to record the wedding.
Ok, FINE! Judge me.
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Tumblr Baton Twirlers Unite!
Julie mentioned that her baton was a favorite toy and I remembered many years as an awkward child happily twirling my baton. Next tweetup we’re going to have a baton twirling competition. Who’s with me?
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Prefaces
• When someone starts with “with all due respect” whatever they’re about to say will most likely be without any respect. • An email with “this is really FUNNY” in the subject line is guaranteed to be the opposite of funny.
We are sleeping with the windows OPEN
And to that I say… Suck it, winter!
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Guys! *West Side Story* is on HBO
And I’m baking a sponge cake.
Well, not now because I’m telling you what’s on TV.
I love cooking with musicals on! Yay!
aldricnewberry asked: Are you a digger? And by this I do NOT mean a nose digger. I mean a dirt digger. Gardening. Flowers, Veggies, Weed,
I probably already know the answer, but I just wanted to see what you would say..
GO!
I probably already know the answer, but I just wanted to see what you would say..
GO!
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Salvatore Ruffino Obituary. The man who brought... →
I lived in his Pizzaria for most of my teenage years. It was the only genuine New York pizza we could get in Pennslvania.
The next slice of Pizza is for you, Sal
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aldricnewberry asked: If the Easter Bunny gave you what you REALLY wanted this Sunday, how would you thank the furry little bastard?
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Look at those motherfuckin’ lions rip into those motherfuckin’...
– Samuel L. Jackson narrates Disney’s Big Cats
When you wake up and feel something hard in your...
And it’s a bone?
A dog bone.
Yeah, that.
NOLAGrrlNYC: I know you all like hearts →
nolagrrlnyc:
You like clicking on them. You like receiving them. And you like taking care of them. Right? I mentioned my father in an earlier post today. What I didn’t mention was that he passed away after having a heart valve replaced. Today at work I was asked to join the firm’s American Heart Association’s…
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Trixie speaks
Oh goody! We’ve been back from the doctor for 10 minutes and mommy is in the kitchen making noises. I’ll go look cute by the door. Maybe she’ll give me a snack.
Oh, well that didn’t work out too well. She’s calling the kids. Here they come. Wait… Yes! Score. It’s my LEASH! I get to go on a walk. WalkwalkwalkwalkwagmytailwagmytailWAGMYTAIL
Door....
For those of you following along at home
I spent my morning in a pediatrician’s office and my afternoon at the vet’s. Vacation paradise!