September 2011
Dear Lord,
Help me to teach my children that simply trying on an item from their closet or drawers does not mean that it goes directly into the hamper.
And let us say, Amen.
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My nose is 97% clogged
Newsflash: it’s really hard to breath with only 3% capacity.
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How do I
Comfort friends who have suddenly lost a dear father and father-in-law?
Help them to work through the intricacies of planning a funeral with no experience?
Ease their worries and their pain?
I have found the cure to insomnia and it is any...
Or it could be the cold medicine mixed with Maneschewitz Weeeeee!
What part of we're leaving at 10:00 doesn't my...
What?
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When you find out your niece has a Tumblr.
Yeah, that. Should I follow? I CAN’T DECIDE.
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All The Logic
It’s nice to see that NJTransit has decided to run the mid-day trains 4 cars short to areas in NJ with perhaps the highest Jewish population for the high holiday rush hour.
Early dismissal
At around 2:00 today, if you listen very carefully you can hear a collective groan of thousands of Jews complaining “Oy, such traffic. I thought we would avoid it by leaving early.”
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No, YOU'RE getting old.
I just took a friend out to lunch for her birthday. We had soup. Because nothing says “good times” like a bowl of hearty soup.
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My throat hurts
Who wants to come over and make soup for me?
No, seriously. After work I have to cook for the holiday. I’m making matzoh ball soup, sweet & sour meatballs and a kugel. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to get it all done. So, who is volunteering?
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Conversation in my sock drawer
“Hi there Sporty! Just back from the laundry?
Yeah. Man, she needs to get her shit together. I waited in that basement for almost a week. Do you know what it’s like sitting in that bin with all the tee shirts? They are a bunch of jerks, especially the Vee necks.
A week? I feel you. I usually don’t have to wait that long.
That’s because you are a black sock, which she...
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$16,250
That’s a rough number, but it s about what I’ve spent on my hair in my lifetime. I love this new haircut so much. It was totally worth over sixteen large. [(52weeks ÷ 6 weeks) x 30 years x $62.50 average ticket = 16,250]
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Liveblogging a football game
I’ve decided to step way out of my comfort zone for Tweetface’s Something Different meme. As a part of my personal growth strategy I tried to watch the last quarter of a football game with The Mister. What follows is a recap of the events.
The Mister: The Giants are on. Did you know that? I’m going to go watch the last quarter.
Me: Don’t go into the study. Watch the game...
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For Sale:
Satellite protective helmets. Never used. Vintage styling from 1979 when Sky Lab didn’t fall to earth and end civilization.
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My boss has been on vacation all week and we...
Or hijinks either.
It just shows you how siloed and isolated this department has become.
I yearn for office hijinks. IS THAT SO BAD?
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It's 11:50 and I already know that the nice salad...
I may need some sweet potato fries therapy.
Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that "Ides of...
Just me? Oh, ok. I’ll be here counting something.
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I'm a great grandchild of Ellis Island
All four of my grandparents were born here shortly after their families left Russia.
This confuses me... →
They helpful guide uses an orange fleece top (which is the color of the Metropolitans) and uses a bed with a Yankees comforter.
NO WONDER THE YOUTH OF TODAY ARE ANGST RIDDEN
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I don't have to ask The Boy if he took a shower
I can smell the Axe all the way upstairs
“My ironic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest”
– This is why I love Glee
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I am more than a little interested in the UN...
Won’t voice my opinions here, don’t want a whole discussion. Let me just say that they are strong.
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