Holy Crap

6 hours of visiting = eating every 40 minutes or 9 meals.

BRB, looking up 24 hour high colonic center.

Driving behind every driver who’s going at least 20 mph below the speed limit.

1. I’m pissed at The Boy. Well, not pissed but disappointed. He didn’t finish an assignment given on Monday and due Wednesday. He copped out and took the easiest way out, which seems to be his MO lately. Look, I know he’s only 11 and he’ll mature and become more serious about school in the next couple of years. It’s just upsetting to see him not work up to his potential, which is very high.

2. I was up all night with a super-pack combination of UTI, PMS and probable kidney stones. When my boss asks me why I’m so surly today, I’m just going to tell him that my uterus and kidneys hate me.

3. That burger I had for lunch yesterday was so delicious. No regrets.

4. Tomorrow we take a 3 hour car ride to see my parents for 3 hours and then turn around and drive home. We’re stupid like that.

5. Passover is next Friday and I’m making a Seder for 12. This is not a drill. NOT A DRILL.

Seeing one of the principals of this company’s email signature in Comic Sans.

I don’t know why this fills me with glee. It was the first time I smiled all day.

Two weeks ago I had a Come to Moses meeting with my boss’s boss’s boss, the senior VP of our department.

I made sure I came into this meeting well prepared. I went on Salary.com and answered all the questions about my experience and my job. The results were disheartening. I know you have to take these things with a grain of salt, I wasn’t expecting to take the entire salt shaker. My salary was in the bottom 11% for people who do the same job in a big city at a Fortune 500 company.

Then, I took my salary, which has remained the same since 2008 because I am at the “top of my bracket” and created a nifty little spreadsheet. I created a row for annual salary increases at a modest 3% cost of living increase. I did not put anything in for merit increase, although I had been getting those to the tune of an additional 2-4% per year. Then I made a row the bonuses I no longer receive. I estimated those at a conservative 8% a year when I had been getting 10-15%.

When I was done with all the fancy formulas the final number was the exact same number as Salary.com’s average annual compensation figure.

I was calm and professional in my presentation. I told her that there’s not a lot of motivation when the company you work for does not fairly compensate its employees. I explained that I find it hard to go the extra mile when I know I am not recognized for my efforts. She listened and said she wasn’t sure she could do much (the difference between what I’m making now and what I should be making is huge). I told her that it probably wasn’t just me. That I may be speaking for a large group of people who have been placed into jobs where their salaries are capped after a huge reorganization 4 years ago. While the company has enjoyed many successes, we are disenfranchised.

We discussed finding other opportunities in the company at a higher level. She did assure me that she is committed to seeing me move into a position more suited to my abilities.

That was exactly two weeks ago. My annual review is today. My fingers are crossed that I’ll get some kind of salary increase. I know it will not be anywhere near where it should be.