Bark bark bark!
- 12: 30: I'm barking at the bird! Mom, why is a bird chirping at 12:30?
- 12: 42: I'm still barking at the bird and also a car.
- 12: 51: Mom! Let's go downstairs so I can see the bird who is on Australian time.
- 12: 53: Thanks for opening the front door, Mom. I'm just going to do a sweep of the front yard. I'm looking for Australian birds.
- 12: 58: Do you hear that? He's chirping with an accent!
- 1: 03: Why are you chirping at night Australian bird?
- 1: 07: He's not answering me. Don't they speak English down there?
- 1: 02: Kiwis are stupid. Let's go back to bed.
![Way to go, Mom.
You gave me a toy that looks like a delicious hamburger but doesn’t taste like one at all.
[eye roll]
Look, I may be a dog but I do know the difference between 100% pure angus beef and plastic/vinyl.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3vzmsLsGp1qabu3yo1_1280.png)
Way to go, Mom.
You gave me a toy that looks like a delicious hamburger but doesn’t taste like one at all.
[eye roll]
Look, I may be a dog but I do know the difference between 100% pure angus beef and plastic/vinyl.
Pavlovian
[doorbell rings on TV]
Mom! MOM! There’s somebody at the door! I’m going to run all over the house now! I’ve checked all the rooms and I don’t see anything unusual. I’m still going to bark a little bit more, just in case. Ok. There isn’t anyone here this time. I’ll just curl up and go back to sleep now.
What? If I don’t move maybe I’ll just blend in and they won’t notice me.
Mommy, the next time you tell me I’m going to be tired I’ll be sure to listen to you. I know, you warned me when I insisted on waking up at 4:00 But I was too stubborn to listen. You were right. Maybe you should try a lullaby to put me back to sleep if it ever happens again.
I am a cat caught in dog’s clothing. Here’s the evidence:
• I like to eat the leftover tuna from the can
• I like to sit on laps
• I think I’m invincible
• I can be amused with a ball of string
• I am afraid of loud noises
• I sit on window sills
Don’t try to convince me otherwise; I am a cat.
Seriously?
Do you think I’d fall for that trick again? Sheesh, Mom.
Yeah, like I’m going to go running after a toy that you’ve only pretended to throw. What do you think I am? I’m not an idio…ball!
“Look, I know you bought this fancy new doggy door for me. I just like it when you come downstairs and pretend you’re going outside with me, OK?”
This is sentry leader Alpha Delta Oh-Seven-Niner. Everything looks good here. We were on full alert when the red mustang went by, but he seems to have been a friendly.
Will report back after preliminary squirrel patrol at 13:00 hours.
